Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
