i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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