The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize