What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
