I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
