so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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