Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
