Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
