haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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