Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
