My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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