its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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