Welp...herpes.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
