About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
