I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
