So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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