and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
