The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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