I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
