and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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