speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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