I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Someone signed my nipple.
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