Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
