My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize