Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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