that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
