just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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