After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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