as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize