Got a toothbrush?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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