i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize