tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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