a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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