ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
