I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
