My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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