He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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