Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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