Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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