ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
