He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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