she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
