Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
