I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
