At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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