Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
