Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize