i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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