The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
