please come you make the beer taste better
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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