I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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