It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
