Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
