a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
