Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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