My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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