I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
