I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
even my farts smell like vagina
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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