carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm at about main and main street
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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