So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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