Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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