somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize