I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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