Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize