is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
