I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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